CA073: What are you proud of today?

“We see the world, not as it is, but as we are – or, as we are conditioned to see it.” Stephen R. Covey

The impetus for this week’s blog post and podcast was in part inspired by a conversation between the two of us.

We’d been to see a couple of films and Julian was feeling a little stupid that he hadn’t really fully got to grips with their plots. During a conversation he said ‘You know, at the heart of it – I think I’m not very bright.’ Of course, as soon as he said it he realised it was a limiting belief and on some level knew it’s patently not true, and yet on another level he realised this was in part what he believed about himself.

Having The Changeability Podcast and a personal development site like this tends to make you notice this type of thing but doesn’t make you immune from it, and here was an unhelpful belief rearing its ugly head.

That got us thinking about unhelpful beliefs, which in turn got us thinking about counteracting them.

The Stephen Covey quote mentioned above goes on to say something interesting;

“We see the world, not as it is, but as we are – or, as we are conditioned to see it. When we open our mouths to describe what we see, we in effect describe ourselves, our perceptions, our paradigms.”

How can we describe ourselves more positively and change our perceptions of ourselves, or make a paradigm shift in what we believe about ourselves?

It’s the end of December at the time of writing and recording, which makes it an appropriate time to consider the year past. One way to begin changing your self perceptions is to think about what you’ve achieved or what are you proud of in this past year.

Here’s a few things we achieved this year.

• 52 episodes of the Changeability Podcast produced – showing consistency and stickability.
• Won an award at the UK Podcasters Awards 2015 of Best self-help podcast as voted by you (thank you) and endorsed by a panel of judges.
• Kathryn’s first big presentation and closing key note for a Shell conference in London on how to thrive in times of change.
• The launch of a new podcast – Podcast Divas – which has just spent 8 weeks top of New & Noteworthy in podcasting and technology on iTunes in the UK.
• Our first joint presentation to SIMS (Suffolk Internet Marketing Specialists) on The Power of Podcasting – The what, why and how of podcasting.

What about you? What are you proud of achieving this year?

Doing this exercise for yourself

• Emphasises what you’ve achieved, so you see the year in terms of progress, rather than what you haven’t done.
• Focuses on the positive rather than the negative, which we as humans have a tendency to do.
• Counteracts your inner voice. Your inner voice or inner critic frames your perceptions. By concentrating on the positive, you frame the world in a more positive way, seeing it is in terms of your achievements and less how you’re conditioned to see it, through the lens of your limiting beliefs and childhood perceptions.

It doesn’t have to just have to be about things you’ve achieved this year? We started with achievements for the year, because of the timing - but it could equally be something you’re pleased with today. In many ways it’s more useful to do this on an on-going basis than once a year.

So what are you proud of today? Write down one or two things you like about yourself or you’re proud of doing or being, or pleased with how it went or how you behaved. You can do it daily.

It could be a characteristic, the way you think,a skill, an act of kindness, something you’ve produced, something you are e.g. a parent, brother, sister, child, friend, colleague. Being happy or smiling at someone. Maybe you’re a good listener, or you were there when someone needed to talk. Or you contributing to your community or entertaining people or are a good conversationalist. Maybe you just like the way your hair looked today or your outfit.

This helps counter-balance the lack self-esteem most of us experience - feelings of not being worthy or good enough, like ‘I don’t feel I’m very clever’.

But all meanings and labels are meaningless apart from the meaning we give them, and yet they colour our lives and have a massive impact on us and the way we feel about our lives, which impacts what we do.

The whole idea of cleverness is an artificial construct – something that only exists because of the meaning we give it. What on earth does being clever mean? Is it intelligence – if so what does that mean? It must be more than an IQ score which only measure a very specific narrow set of thinking skills, and which only matter in a certain context.

It’s all about the meaning you give it. If you don’t believe those things yourself they won’t affect you. Someone can tell you you’re as thick as two short planks but if you don’t believe it yourself, it doses’t smatter. It only matters because of the meaning you give it.

It’s time to reinvent the meaning by noticing the things you are good at, or like about yourself or are proud of. This is the contrary evidence to your negative beliefs that will boost your confidence and general sense of well being and belief in yourself.

We tend to focus on the future and what we need to achieve, our goals and aspirations – and indeed we’ll be looking at this soon – but it’s also time to recognise and celebrate your achievements, big and small, and the things you like about yourself and what you’ve done – today.

One of the films we saw this week was the last of the Hunger Games films (The Mockingjay part 2). At the end of the film Katniss Everdene says she copes with thinking of the horrors they’d been through, by making a list in her head of all the good things she’d witnessed, the good things that people had done and the kindnesses shown. And that’s what you’re doing, here but for yourself – about you.

I look into the window of my mind
Reflections of the fears I know I've left behind
I step out of the ordinary, I can feel my soul ascending
I am on my way, can't stop me now and you can do the same, yeah

What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It's never too late to try
What have you done today to make you feel proud?

You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
What have you done today to make you feel proud?

From Proud sung by Heather Small and written by Wayne Anthony Hector, Steve Mac and Andrew Gerard Hill

Episode 73 of The Changeability Podcast

Hear us talk about all of this and more in episode 73 of The Changeability Podcast.

Thank you

Thanks for listening to the Changeability Podcast. We love having you here and appreciate you spending your precious tine with us.

Links

10 things I’m proud of and the rewards of pride in your achievements - blog post

Let us know your comments

What are you proud of today? Let us know in the comments below.